Sometimes it just feels good to cry, you know? I was trying to explain that to Amelia yesterday. But she did not understand. That was expected since I knew I was talking to a two year old, but I still tried. And this is why. I have been on my own with the kids for a week as Adam is at a conference in Seattle. It really has been great. I have been not working much, and just hanging out with the kids.
BUT-Amelia got the stomach flu. And if you are a parent you know that the stomach flu is the hardest illness to go through with a child because there is nothing you can do to help them so YOU feel horrible and helpless, too, but also you get NO sleep at all bc you are rocking and comforting a small child while constantly being thrown up on and trying to get loads of loads of laundry in.
A friend of Elijah’s took him for the afternoon to the Boulder Creek Festival and it was going to be just “mommy and Amelia time.” And she wants me to sew her up some pink pillows and blankets so we went first to Safeway so I could get money from the bank there and pick up some much needed groceries and then go to the craft store.
Well, halfway through shopping I hear a cry from the cart (I was off in the milk area), and I went back to check in on her and Amelia held out her two little hands and they were full of spagetti. The spagetti she had eaten earlier that afternoon. What a good girl! She made it all nice and neat so I started to run the shopping cart over to the produce isle to get a platsic baggie to start cleaning up and then she just got sick all over the place.
I then ran the cart to the customer service department and sincerely mumbled my apologies to the lady there that had a really astonished look on her face and then we BOOKED it out of there.
We were *almost* home and that is when I realized a wasp was stuck behind my glasses. I realized this because the wasp stung me, while driving, and I almost got into another accident (I totalled my car about a month ago).
I was keeping it all together though. I had it handled. I am a tough mama.
So, three blocks from our home I see blinking lights behind me and I am GETTING PULLED OVER. For speeding. And yes, I was speeding. I had a throwing up child half naked in my backseat and I had just gotten stuck by a wasp.
As the police office came to the car I made a point to shake out Amelia’s spagetti-filled shirt out the window so he could see. Then I told him my little sob story. But I could not locate my lisence or my insurance card (brought the wrong wallet, of course).
So, instead of letting me get my sick child back to the house which was within viewing distance, he took his pretty little time in his police car doing whatever they do that takes so long when they pull you over.
After 15 minutes of Amelia screaming because she was hot and sick and just wanted to go home and get OUT of that carseat, I finally went around to the other side of the car and took her out and just rocked her.
The police officer finally came up to me, gave me a ticket for no insurance (which I won’t have to pay because ireally DO have insurance), and told me that he could have ticketed me for a ton of things but decided to give me a break.
And I don’t know why, but I just started crying. I guess it was bc I was grateful to him. But I think it was more bc I was so overwhlemed by everything and it just felt so good to cry.
And that is why I was trying to explain to Amelia that sometimes it just feels good to cry.
Tonight is another night where crying just feels good. I have to figure out how to teach her that while at the same time teaching her by example how to really be in touch with my strength as a woman.
These are the important moments as a parent.
So, I really HAD to get that out. Just like I had to cry tonight, because it just feels good to get it all out sometimes.
Anyways, I wrote all that and you read it so I am going to post a photo for you as a thank you.
More tomorrow when our nanny comes back and I asked her if she would come early so I could sleep in and she said ‘yes!”
I am going to miss just spending the day with the kids now that our nanny is back, but sleeping in is like gold to a parent with a child that has the stomach flu.
ps, “just one” turned into “just three” as I pulled up fthese photos from a new disk to my computer from that session the other night. I liked these-they were sweet. But the photos of her three other children are my favorites, I will post those soon, too.
pps. It is now 5:30am and having our nanny come in early so I could sleep in was futile-I told her 7am and amelia woke up bright and shiny (and loud) at 5am.