I know I said in my last post I would be blogging every day over break. Yeah, that did NOT happen. See, my nanny went to Disney world, and the high school girl that was supposed to help out here sprained her ankle. So I have been a stay at home mom for two weeks and man, it is HARD work. I give praise to all of you moms out there that do this full time. It is so much, and it is hard to believe that stay at home moms still don’t get the credit that they deserve in our society. My own mother was made to feel that taking care of 5 kids and a big household was not “work,” and was pressured to get a job when I was very little. I am hoping those days will soon be over, and people begin to realize how important it is for babies to actually spend time and be close to their mothers. It really seemed to be an 80′s thing. Women felt pressured by society to be “as good” as men so they sacrificed having kids, or raising the kids they did have, so that they could work and feel worthy. I remember my mom going to her job every day wearing big shoulder pads so she could try to blend in with the men better. She was quite an inspiration for me, though, rising to success in a field that was completely ruled by men. She always told me that I could do anything, and I have always done whatever it is I most wanted to do. So for that I am grateful. But no, I did not get to see my mom much when I was little, our house was a wreck ALL the time, and we ate a lot of frozen food.
So, for that reason I am quite proud of myself. I just totally forget about getting anything office related done last week. It was hard enough to just keep the house clean, the laundry folded (it is still not folded, but rather a huge mountain of clothes in our laundry room), the kids fed and clean and happy, and dinner on the table. I did though. Seriously, I rocked it. I did a lot of fun Boulder things with the kids, kept the house clean (though I made sure the cleaners came an extra time, so you could say I cheated on that one), and did not totally fall apart. I actually loved it-to a degree. I am just sure that I would not make a good full time stay at home mom. I LOVE my family, but I am not the best at housework and it makes me miserable.
I like the balance that I have found in the last year, though. I have a nanny 25 hours a week so I can shoot, edit, respond to emails, blog, do random errands, meet with my office manager, and do office work. That way, I spend the morning with my baby girl and we have a ton of sweet time together just her and I. Then, I try to stop working right at 3pm when Elijah gets home from school, so that I can spend that time with him and Amelia. It is a good balance, that is working so far.
I always thought I wanted to be a stay at home mom, but quickly realized that mothering is so passive. I needed some kind of creative outlet. I love mothering, it truly is my most important job and I take it very seriously, but I need to do something in addition to that, and I feel good about the lifestyle I have created. I get to be with and raise my children, but I also get a lot of support from other people to do that and to do exactly what I love (photography). So, for now, I like it.
But, if you are wondering why I have been away from the blog for so long, that is the reason. I actually had 5 or so shoots over break, so it will take me a few weeks to get caught up with sneak peeks. I don’t actually feel behind on anything except the blog, so that is good. So, I can’t promise another sneak peek tomorrow, but I *probably* will have one up:)
This is Jaxon. How sweet and beautiful is he? I loved this shoot! I posted one other photo a few weeks ago. Most Boulder families that I photograph tend to love outdoor nature sessions, and Jaxon’s mom was all about doing both. So we started off at Wonderland Lake in north Boulder and then we drove a few minutes up the street to those warehouse at the end of Broadway-the ones that are all colorful-and it was perfect!